H12

I'm applying for the University of Tennessee, and I chose to do a personal statement to help my chances of getting enrolled. For the most part, I'd just like to have it reviewed over really quick 'cuz I've had problems getting help with my application, and it needs to be sent off tomorrow.

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I believe that I have what it takes to succeed at the University of Tennessee. I feel like I have good knowledge to share and utilize while on campus. I am also fairly certain that I have more maturity than many other students and friends of my age. I like to think I’m an enjoyable person to be around as well. For my personal statement, I'd like to try to convince you that I deserve to be enrolled in UT.
I feel like I am very intelligent. I had a 23 on my ACT the first time I took it. My friends often consider me as under-rated when it comes to knowledge and understanding. Teachers have often told me that I speak, act, and think better than I should for my age. With all that considered, although I’m undoubtedly no genius right now, I am ready to unleash what potential I have and become a good student at UT.
I truly think that, for my age, I have matured exceptionally well. I was raised in a loving and caring family that would allow nothing less from me. Teachers have praised me for my attitude while coaches have appreciated the dedication and effort I have given. I try hard to keep a respectable image to match my attitude, too. I truly think that I would represent UT very well and never become an embarrassment to your college’s good name.
I try my very hardest to be as great of a man as I can be for other people, and people appreciate it. I have been known to keep a friend from attempting suicide, and gained another friend the same way. My friends and acquaintances continuously tell me that I have a great sense of humor. I keep myself active and with people; I can be almost anywhere with a different group of friends every time. I have invited friends to come to UT games with me. I would also like to mention my Government teacher and football coach who has personally asked to be a reference; Mr. ---- ---- may be reached on his home phone (###-###-####) at anytime. It is my opinion that I am a very well-rounded person who is liked and respected by most of the people I see and talk to, which is a positive quality for everyone to have.
I realize that I'm not guaranteed to go to UT based on my credentials. However, I have realized that UT is the college I want to study under, and it would be my privilege if you would accept me. I have given my case that portrays my intelligence, represented my signs of maturity, and attempted to prove that I leave many people with a positive note every time I can. It is my deepest wish that you will allow me to be enrolled for the Fall 2004 semester.

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Does that look good and respectable, or too formal? Also, I have a 23 on my ACT and a 2.7 high school GPA; based on that, does anyone believe UT will accept me? Thanks in advance for any help.

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit."
--Aristotle