Now I know that a few BEER threads are already out there in the public domain but I got all inspired by Sleepyjack's thread here
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=43025
and what it turned into.
My PC had a meltdown prior to Australia day and seriously,the chances of fixing it looked as promising as another "Pauline Hanson for PM" campaign.
It was Gooone.
Depression set in.
In typical fashion I said "Fuck it,I'm going to the Pub to drown my sorrows",and it got me thinking about a proper "Beer lovers guide to Australia" for the many tourists that are out and about here in our fine land.(Whats with all those young German girls here at the moment)?
I researched like no other and filled many an olympic sized swimming pool with the fruits of my endeavour's.
But I digress.
The computer fix it guy rang today and all is now sweet.Hell I even shouted him a beer for his troubles,that and two hundred bucks to fix the gizmo rightchize,(whatever the fuck that is).
So as a "True blue" Aussie I wanted to give our overseas friends here (as a trial run), an unbiased view of our beverages in case they visit and have the urge to "sink a few".
Don't be fooled by fake lists.
So if you happen to do the "Crawl",here is the State by State lowdown on the brown amber fluid.
From NSW:
Toohey's Extra Dry.
A no hangover beer,(unless you have more than thirty) that tastes excellent.(Serve chilled).
The beerlovers beer.There is no other.
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From Queensland:
Nothing.
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From Victoria:
Crown Lager.
Despite the price tag,this is the best thing to come out of Victoria apart from the Hume highway.(Needs to be served ICY cold).
(Or if you are desperate)
Victoria Bitter.(Affectionately known as VB).
Only if nothing else is available.(Serve very cold and remain in coolroom with beer if more than one is to be consumed).
In other words,it does in fact taste like shit unless cold till the end or if you are pissed already.
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From Tasmania:
Cascade Premium Lager.
A choice beer that cousins and locals alike claim to be Aussies finest.(Needs to be served cold).
A word of warning when ordering from Pubs in this far flung place.
Don't leer at the barmaid.(She has Mom's,Dad's and many many other relatives watching out for her).
Cascade premium light
And not that you would want a root in Tassie,but if you need to stay sober and want a tasty light beer.(Fucked if I know how to serve this one as I don't drink light beer).
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From South Australia:
Southwark Pale Ale.(It's got bite and it makes you fart like a trooper).
Do not,under any circumstance,go near a naked flame if you have consumed more than 15 in one session.
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From Western Australia:
Redback.(A hangover is guaranteed but well worth the effort).
An acquired taste.
Matilda Bay Premium.(Another "windows open and let the air in" lager).
(A word of warning).
Drinking more than 12 of these in one session will require a brain transplant the next morning.
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So there is my guide and I await crucifixion by the "Cane toads" and others.
(Not to mention Sharon and her twelve sisters from Tassie).
Aussies,please add your comments and an "also rans" list.
Disclaimer.
This thread is totally "tongue in cheek" and should have probably been posted in the "Nonsense" forum.