The heart wants what the heart wants. I have had a few friends, and a former lover pass away in my 40 years, as well as some very close family members. I have learned this for myself: death cannot be a reason to avoid doing something, it can only spur us on to not waste time.
I understand your ambivilance, HF - but is there not another course of action? How about being a loving friend and stay in contact with her until the end? Avoiding her (or more accurately, not pursuing a relationship) results in precicely the thing many people want to avoid: dying alone, and unloved.
Try this: if you were in her place, and she in yours, what would you want her to do?
A caveat: I hardly ever take my own advice, so please follow only your own sense of what is right in this.
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