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HFrankenstein · 01-19-2004, 02:59 PM

I'm not normally all emo like this, but this has been chafing my brain for a while now, and I just wanted to see if anyone else had been in this situation. There's gotta be someone on tfp, right?

Anyway, almost all of my problems start with either school, or a girl, (no, never a schoolgirl). This one started with a girl.

Needless to say, I'm crazy about her, etc. etc. etc., and I know she feels the same way about me. I just hadn't made a move just yet. At any rate, I imagine her feelings for me were her reason for telling me last week that she has about a year to live.

Meh...

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that she had the courtesy to tell me this when she could sense that I was getting ready to make a move (and I was), and even more moved that she trusts me enough to break this to me (outside of her family, I'm one of two people who knows). But damn did this ever mess up my head for a couple days. It was the most shocking thing I'd heard in a long time. I'm still losing sleep over it.

I'm 23 years old, graduating college, which is where I know her from, this May, and going off to grad school in the fall. She's only 20, which means that I'd be leaving without her. Were it not for this, I wouldn't have to think twice about pursuing a relationship with her. I know she doesn't want to die alone, and I don't want her to either. But if I were to get involved with her now, I wouldn't be able to be with her in the end, and she deserves someone who can.

Now, I could still try being with her until I leave. I know she'd like that, and I'd like it too, but I can't even imagine how hard it'd be for both of us when I have to go, knowing that it could be the last we see of each other ever again. On one hand, it could be some of the best months ever, but on the other hand, and I know this sounds selfish, I'd be going into it knowing that it'd bring me more pain than anything ever had in the end (BTW, my apologies to anyone who's gone through something so much worse as to make this seem childish.)

I still haven't made my decision, though I'm leaning towards backing off so she can find somebody else who won't have to leave. But this is still set in Jell-O.

Has anyone else been through something like this? How did you handle it?

01-19-2004, 02:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
HFrankenstein Crazy Location: New Jersey / Delaware	Unfortunately, she's dying... I'm not normally all emo like this, but this has been chafing my brain for a while now, and I just wanted to see if anyone else had been in this situation. There's gotta be someone on tfp, right? Anyway, almost all of my problems start with either school, or a girl, (no, never a schoolgirl). This one started with a girl. Needless to say, I'm crazy about her, etc. etc. etc., and I know she feels the same way about me. I just hadn't made a move just yet. At any rate, I imagine her feelings for me were her reason for telling me last week that she has about a year to live. Meh... Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that she had the courtesy to tell me this when she could sense that I was getting ready to make a move (and I was), and even more moved that she trusts me enough to break this to me (outside of her family, I'm one of two people who knows). But damn did this ever mess up my head for a couple days. It was the most shocking thing I'd heard in a long time. I'm still losing sleep over it. I'm 23 years old, graduating college, which is where I know her from, this May, and going off to grad school in the fall. She's only 20, which means that I'd be leaving without her. Were it not for this, I wouldn't have to think twice about pursuing a relationship with her. I know she doesn't want to die alone, and I don't want her to either. But if I were to get involved with her now, I wouldn't be able to be with her in the end, and she deserves someone who can. Now, I could still try being with her until I leave. I know she'd like that, and I'd like it too, but I can't even imagine how hard it'd be for both of us when I have to go, knowing that it could be the last we see of each other ever again. On one hand, it could be some of the best months ever, but on the other hand, and I know this sounds selfish, I'd be going into it knowing that it'd bring me more pain than anything ever had in the end (BTW, my apologies to anyone who's gone through something so much worse as to make this seem childish.) I still haven't made my decision, though I'm leaning towards backing off so she can find somebody else who won't have to leave. But this is still set in Jell-O. Has anyone else been through something like this? How did you handle it? __________________ When in doubt, sauerkraut.