I was brought up in a christian church with my family, and I respect the religion, as every other religion, but it always seemed too limited and quite a bit contradicted in the bible, new testament vs. old testament.
Such as: In the Old Testament-
God created every one of us equally and "in the image and likeness of Him",
God loves us all unconditionally
God is all-powerful
God gave us the greatest gift of all: Free Will
New Testament-
God judges us,
we must obey the 10 commandments and go to church and be "saved" to have the path to heaven,
we are born with sin,
we are sent to "Hell" if we do not accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour,
Jesus was sent down from God as His one and only "son"
there is a "devil" figure who constantly rivals with God
I respect all means of religions and beliefs as a path to God, but I see Truth in each religion, yet keeping in mind that religion is afterall man-created.
But what people miss and forget is the connection and communication with God, which all of us are unlimited to doing.
Conversations with God book series by Neale Donald Walsch might be something you would be interested in- it's just a suggestion. Everything I ever felt deep down, that I couldn't pinpoint and really describe was all spelled out word for word in such a clear way throughout that series. It blew me away.
It explains all the questions you may have to help you understand and decide what Your Truth is.
Knowing that all beliefs are a path to God, no right- no wrong, as we have the Free Will to be who we want and to choose our path and destiny.
It's deeper than religion, however- it's the spirituality within it that seems to get ignored.
God is not "someone" outside of us, who loves us yet judges us.
Think of it as "something" residing within and all around us. It never ceases, never ignores, never punishes, never judges, never tests us or tricks us.
Just my thoughts for you. I know how you feel, but now I have opened my mind and spirit to realize Who I Truly Am and the true abundance of Life as My Choice.
Now
you have the choice of deciding what feels good and true to you.