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Yes I am somewhat familiar with female ejaculation. It hasn't happened very often with a man - though on my own or with a woman is different. RedRose2 gave a good rundown I think. I have found that the mythical G-spot for me at least feels a little different to my finger than the rest of the area surrounding it. It feels just a bit like cordoury running crosswise inside. Don't know if that'll help at all but thought I'd add that anyway. As far as the noises - I have found that a fan running or music quietly playing helps ease my fears or embarressment. When it's silent the noises just about echo it seems. Yikes. My man and I get a lot of good laughs sometimes. Once you laugh it off once the next time it happens it's not so bothersome. You can just ignore it and keep on Mooovin'. One thing I might add too is that the genital farts are partly caused by you actually expanding inside as a result of getting turned on. If your man gets embarrassed at all by it maybe mentioning that it just shows that he's got you worked up that can help.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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