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raeanna74 · 01-13-2004, 12:09 PM

This sounds a lot like me and hubby. My daughter is now three. I'm a SAHM and with kids all day. Sometimes I just get "touched" too much and can't take the intimacy. He has learned that there are times that I'm just not in the mood. When I'm not in the mood and if I can - then I try to accomodate and give him a treat. Bj if nothing else. It satsifies him and is more like a quicky. Also I've found that if I watch for when the kids ( I watch another child afternoons/evenings and another mornings/afternoons) and then I go to him. I make him feel wanted and even if I'm not feeling exceptionally romantic when I see his response and how the "surprise" makes him happy it helps my emotions along. Also it satisfies him for a while and he doesn't beg for sex as much or ask for it at the wrong times as much. There are just some times that you have to say no and take care of yourself. Don't let him put on the guilt trip and don't allow yourself to feel guilty. Make sure you try to tell him in the kindest way possible. Make sure he knows you still love him and want him but that for one reason or another you just can't get in the mood or get the kids out of your mind. There will have to be some give and take on both your parts. You give a little even when you aren't Really in the mood but the timing with kids isn't too bad. And when the timing is bad or you really need the relax time to yourself then he needs to let you go. Repeat to him your reasons and reassurances. "Repitition is the key to learning". Don't resent having to repeat it. There's nothing wrong with that. Everyone needs a reminder sometimes.

Making sure you guys carve out some time for yourselves once or month or so is a big help to helping your intimacy. Wintertime blues is an issue for us. The lack of light affects both our moods making me less horny and hubby crave sex. We work through it every year though. Everyone has their ups and downs. Hang in there and you can get past it too.

01-13-2004, 12:09 PM	#8 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	This sounds a lot like me and hubby. My daughter is now three. I'm a SAHM and with kids all day. Sometimes I just get "touched" too much and can't take the intimacy. He has learned that there are times that I'm just not in the mood. When I'm not in the mood and if I can - then I try to accomodate and give him a treat. Bj if nothing else. It satsifies him and is more like a quicky. Also I've found that if I watch for when the kids ( I watch another child afternoons/evenings and another mornings/afternoons) and then I go to him. I make him feel wanted and even if I'm not feeling exceptionally romantic when I see his response and how the "surprise" makes him happy it helps my emotions along. Also it satisfies him for a while and he doesn't beg for sex as much or ask for it at the wrong times as much. There are just some times that you have to say no and take care of yourself. Don't let him put on the guilt trip and don't allow yourself to feel guilty. Make sure you try to tell him in the kindest way possible. Make sure he knows you still love him and want him but that for one reason or another you just can't get in the mood or get the kids out of your mind. There will have to be some give and take on both your parts. You give a little even when you aren't Really in the mood but the timing with kids isn't too bad. And when the timing is bad or you really need the relax time to yourself then he needs to let you go. Repeat to him your reasons and reassurances. "Repitition is the key to learning". Don't resent having to repeat it. There's nothing wrong with that. Everyone needs a reminder sometimes. Making sure you guys carve out some time for yourselves once or month or so is a big help to helping your intimacy. Wintertime blues is an issue for us. The lack of light affects both our moods making me less horny and hubby crave sex. We work through it every year though. Everyone has their ups and downs. Hang in there and you can get past it too. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.