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I have to agree with those who've advocated opening the lines of communication at all costs. Really, the only way to get back to the way you used to be (pre moving-in, pre-rut, pre-mindgames, pre-passive-aggressiveness) is to really level with her. Obviously you care enough to try just about anything to make it work, and you're quite upset about the developments thus far.
Sounds to me like she's using the whole "i'm mad, don't you know why?" scenario as a power-getting tool. As long as she's pissed and you're reacting, she's got the control. Also, as long as you're making the decisions, she's free to be pissed off about them because she's not getting exactly what she wants (even if she's making YOU make the decisions).
In the end, you both have to figure out if you're getting what you want from the relationship. For her, she has to come to grips that she may not be in the same relationship she thought she would be in, prior to moving to be closer to you. For you, the realization is whether or not this is the girl you thought she was. In the end, you haven't failed if it doesn't work out. People are often different online than they are in real life - this is something humanity is constantly learning.
Best of luck, though. While I hate to see things not work out as planned, I'd rather see two happy people make the right decision (no matter what that is).
Do keep us posted.
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