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01-07-2004, 01:10 PM

I have had troubles with this very thing and it can seriously jeapardize the relationship.
There ARE guidelines to follow when communicating, and you have to put 110% into it. And there is no try- you just have to do it.
LISTEN: without interrupting or letting your mind wander.
EYE CONTACT: very important when speaking, MORE important when listening. You actually grasp more when you look into their eyes when listening.
RESPECT: every single idea & opinion the other has, respect that, because that is who they are. It is not up for you to decide who they can be and what they can think. Love will look beyond differences and celebrate the commonalities.
ASK: questions- especially if you do not understand something. It's okay, it's not being dumb, it's gaining an understanding of the other person.
SPACE: give space when the other person wants to talk. DO NOT avoid conversations because of the results of previsous ones, that will not help get things resolved. Instead, look at the conversation with new eyes and see what was not working before, and figure out what will work now.
SPEAK UP: be 100% open & honest. I know personally how much damage can happen when you aren't. Speak the utmost truth, yet in a respectful way. Share FEELINGS- "I feel" without blame or criticism to the other person.
YELLING GETS YOU NOWHERE but further apart. Calm, patient conversations you can gain so much more from.

Hope that helps- seriously work on it if you want to gain better communication with your loved one.

01-07-2004, 01:10 PM	#15 (permalink)
:::OshnSoul::: Guest	I have had troubles with this very thing and it can seriously jeapardize the relationship. There ARE guidelines to follow when communicating, and you have to put 110% into it. And there is no try- you just have to do it. LISTEN: without interrupting or letting your mind wander. EYE CONTACT: very important when speaking, MORE important when listening. You actually grasp more when you look into their eyes when listening. RESPECT: every single idea & opinion the other has, respect that, because that is who they are. It is not up for you to decide who they can be and what they can think. Love will look beyond differences and celebrate the commonalities. ASK: questions- especially if you do not understand something. It's okay, it's not being dumb, it's gaining an understanding of the other person. SPACE: give space when the other person wants to talk. DO NOT avoid conversations because of the results of previsous ones, that will not help get things resolved. Instead, look at the conversation with new eyes and see what was not working before, and figure out what will work now. SPEAK UP: be 100% open & honest. I know personally how much damage can happen when you aren't. Speak the utmost truth, yet in a respectful way. Share FEELINGS- "I feel" without blame or criticism to the other person. YELLING GETS YOU NOWHERE but further apart. Calm, patient conversations you can gain so much more from. Hope that helps- seriously work on it if you want to gain better communication with your loved one.