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mystmarimatt · 01-04-2004, 04:08 PM

Looked around, and couldn't seem to find a topic on this, nor can i do a search.

So, my friend came home from a trip she had over christmas break, and we went to a new year's party. driving there, she really didn't look well, kind of upset, but i didn't ask her or press the subject because we were in a full car. once we were at the part, she tugged at my arm, looking at me pleadingly, and we quietly slipped off to an isolated part of the house. she asked me how my break was and everything, i told her, then looked her in the eyes and asked her to tell me what was up. she commenced telling me the story of how, over her break, she met this guy on the beach, and the same night, lost her virginity to him. she was really, really upset. she had said she didn't really want to, but he kind of forced himself on her. she was molested when she was a child, and has a history of freezing up when in solitary situations with men, so it was mostly a matter of "not saying yes, but not saying no, either," which, i know can be considered rape. i was rather in shock, but she was just so upset, i had to console her somehow, so i made a couple of jokes, made her laugh, etc.

the thing is, in her mind, she didn't feel raped, but she felt like her virginity had been unjustly taken from her. in response, i pulled something completely out of my ass about the belief in some people/cultures that losing one's virginity is the penetration as well as orgasm, not just penetration, because i had to say SOMETHING to console her. i don't know if this is even true, and i dunno if there is this belief in any culture, and i don't even know if i believe it.

so what do you guys think? or would you know anything about the sociological aspect of it? and lastly, was i justified in saying this, at least iin telling her?

01-04-2004, 04:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
mystmarimatt Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind Location: Oreegawn	tales of a lost virginity Looked around, and couldn't seem to find a topic on this, nor can i do a search. So, my friend came home from a trip she had over christmas break, and we went to a new year's party. driving there, she really didn't look well, kind of upset, but i didn't ask her or press the subject because we were in a full car. once we were at the part, she tugged at my arm, looking at me pleadingly, and we quietly slipped off to an isolated part of the house. she asked me how my break was and everything, i told her, then looked her in the eyes and asked her to tell me what was up. she commenced telling me the story of how, over her break, she met this guy on the beach, and the same night, lost her virginity to him. she was really, really upset. she had said she didn't really want to, but he kind of forced himself on her. she was molested when she was a child, and has a history of freezing up when in solitary situations with men, so it was mostly a matter of "not saying yes, but not saying no, either," which, i know can be considered rape. i was rather in shock, but she was just so upset, i had to console her somehow, so i made a couple of jokes, made her laugh, etc. the thing is, in her mind, she didn't feel raped, but she felt like her virginity had been unjustly taken from her. in response, i pulled something completely out of my ass about the belief in some people/cultures that losing one's virginity is the penetration as well as orgasm, not just penetration, because i had to say SOMETHING to console her. i don't know if this is even true, and i dunno if there is this belief in any culture, and i don't even know if i believe it. so what do you guys think? or would you know anything about the sociological aspect of it? and lastly, was i justified in saying this, at least iin telling her? __________________ Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane. Last edited by mystmarimatt; 01-04-2004 at 04:13 PM..