Ok, your post showed me you truly want to lose this weight. I am going to be awefully busy over the next few days, but I want to help you. Please post on here your current daily diet. If you can do it for 3 days, that would be great. Eat normally and log everything you eat (including sauces and toppings on your foods). Post it here and I will get a better idea on where to start you out. By the way, scratch the idea of eating 1500 calories a day lol. You will throw your body into starvation mode with that. No WONDER you were failing before

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I dont know if I have the commitment or the will to really want a perfect body or look like a model or anything
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Fuck that. You DO have what it takes to have a great body, you just need to push yourself. If you lived by me, I would hold you to it and work out with ya each day but you live in England so I am going to have to count on you to push yourself. Anyhow, have fun for the next few days. Enjoy them. Start thinking about how it is going to feel to look completely different this time next year. Log all of your meals for 3 days and post it here, or shoot me a PM if you feel uncomfortable sharing that info on the boards (i rather people see it so they can learn too). Anyhow, I will catch you in a few days and am going to help you change your life along with your help. You are NOT "Bob"

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Happy Holidays.