Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Need Help: Paralyzed by Fear of Embarrassment/Rejection.

toxic515 · 12-30-2003, 04:55 PM

It's long been said that a coward dies a thousand deaths. Fear is natural, fear of rejection is natural. What is not natural is paralysis from fear. Fear is the opposite of living, and DOING. Size up the situation logically, intellectually. What are all the possible outcomes of an action, that you can forsee? What are the chances of a best-case scenario, and worst-case? Are you prepared to take the risk, for EITHER outcome? If so, then move on it. Rejection sucks... but it's rather unlikely among friends to ever receive a TOTAL rejection. And it's not likely that you'll get slammed either.... It is POSSIBLE, but unlikely. If you do get hammered for expressing your feelings, then they were misplaced anyway, and you've learned a valuable, and only temporarily painful, lesson.

Alternatively, you could stay afraid and watch her walk away with someone else who is not. Imagine that as an outcome as well, the result of inaction. (which is an action all it's own.) It's a buttload easier for me now, at an older age, to look at these things and sort of laugh, because the truth is, many of the barriers you will run into are ones that you have imagined.. You haven't even really created them, they do not exist. You fear the unkown. Reason through the unknown, and find probabilities, possibilities, likelyhoods, and unlikelihoods... Figure out what's REAL, and this gets MUCH easier!

You're going to be amazed at how many stupid things you have done and will do.. And you'll be even more amazed when you realize how little any of that REALLY mattered!

Peace to you. Gather courage to fight the demons in your own mind, for they have only the power you grant them.

12-30-2003, 04:55 PM	#10 (permalink)
toxic515 Addict Location: Texas	It's long been said that a coward dies a thousand deaths. Fear is natural, fear of rejection is natural. What is not natural is paralysis from fear. Fear is the opposite of living, and DOING. Size up the situation logically, intellectually. What are all the possible outcomes of an action, that you can forsee? What are the chances of a best-case scenario, and worst-case? Are you prepared to take the risk, for EITHER outcome? If so, then move on it. Rejection sucks... but it's rather unlikely among friends to ever receive a TOTAL rejection. And it's not likely that you'll get slammed either.... It is POSSIBLE, but unlikely. If you do get hammered for expressing your feelings, then they were misplaced anyway, and you've learned a valuable, and only temporarily painful, lesson. Alternatively, you could stay afraid and watch her walk away with someone else who is not. Imagine that as an outcome as well, the result of inaction. (which is an action all it's own.) It's a buttload easier for me now, at an older age, to look at these things and sort of laugh, because the truth is, many of the barriers you will run into are ones that you have imagined.. You haven't even really created them, they do not exist. You fear the unkown. Reason through the unknown, and find probabilities, possibilities, likelyhoods, and unlikelihoods... Figure out what's REAL, and this gets MUCH easier! You're going to be amazed at how many stupid things you have done and will do.. And you'll be even more amazed when you realize how little any of that REALLY mattered! Peace to you. Gather courage to fight the demons in your own mind, for they have only the power you grant them. __________________ Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.