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This is a complex question, and there have been some really good answers to it.
The kinds of girls that went for my friends in college (most were the asshole type) were not the kinds of girls I could have had a future with. They were great for a few weeks of sex but that was about all.
I know that when I met my wife, we really hit it off after the 2nd date. It took a few weeks, but we were already talking marriage. I used to drop a rose on her car at her office every couple of days or just write a note and put it under her windshield wiper. She was one that appreciated this, but she also had pretty good self-esteem. She had not dated much and didn't play games with me (which was refreshing).
There is just a fine balance between being an asshole and being a gentleman. I think it takes a little of both early in a relationship just to keep things interesting, but this should go away very quickly if the relationship is going to last. People say there should be immediate passion in a relationship or it won't last. I disagree. I think you have to really get to know each other first. That way you will find the person who you should be with.
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