NeoSparky

ok,
I've been one of those dreaded "lurkers" for quite some time. I enjoy reading the response's to the questions as most of them apply to my own life.

so here's the deal.

I've been with this girl for the last almost 4 months. She's 19, i'm 25. The first 3 weeks to a month were the most amazing I've ever expierenced in my entire dating history. From there it went down hill. All of a suddon she just stopped being the girl I was getting to know. I found out the reason why was that she had moved back into an apartment with her ex-bf who had abused her. There were valid reasons behind this move and it was only temporary. So after about a month of not seeing her I was about to give up on her and she called me out of the blue. We spent the next week together and it seemed that we had gotten past this little road bump in our relationship. The week after that she called me every day just to chat. The following week every other day or so, and it's grinded to a halt of almost 2 weeks since I've heard from her last.

She called me today (chistmas) to wish me a merry christmas. We talked for not even 5 minutes on the phone before she became pissed off at me for asking what was going on and why hadn't I heard from her in the last 2 weeks. She told me that she had gotten a 2nd job and that she doesnt like calling me as much because I ask whats going on, where's she's been, etc.. You know, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on between us.. after she had her little outburst she said she had to go and that was that.

p.s. during the times that she's called she always tell's me how much fun she has with her friends. One point I made a point to tell her that she seems to have all this time for her friends but none for me and wanted to know what was up. (that was 2 weeks ago).


ok, so now that she's even more upset with me than before, and she has 2 jobs, and spends all of her free time with everyone but me what should I do?

I'm a very patient man, but I'm afraid that at this point I may be coming across to her as desprate and there's nothing further from the truth. I just am not one to give up at the first sign of trouble and run the other direction. The only complaint that I have so far about this relationship is that I dont see her enough.


Some things I was thinking of doing is:
1) leave a voice mail on her phone asking to meet up for lunch or dinner or something and then once having her face to face talking about whats been bothering me. Prefacing the conversation with "I'm not bitching, I just want to talk about whats bothering me." Or something to that effect.

2) Writing her a note explaining my whole reason for asking whats going on all the time and leaving it at her apartment.

or

3) leaving a voice mail explaining the same that I'd do in the note.


I dont want to end the relationship but at the same time a defining characteristic of a relationship to me is spending quality time with each other.

Sorry for the long windedness.