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You're married to her?
Seriously, though... have you told her about the parts of your past, the bad experiences that you've had, that revolve around Christmas and generally ruin it for you? Because if you haven't, from what I've gathered from your post, you need to do so immediately.
She needs to understand, and you need to stand up for yourself. Not violently or anything, just... verbally, not abusively insulting or anything but just saying "This is how it is for me and this is why."
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