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Old 12-21-2003, 09:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
JohnS72
Crazy
 
I was going through my room today and I found a note I had written. I never bothered to give it to her, and later on, I'll post more details about the circumstances pending this note. Here it is.
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Dear You,
It feels like just yesterday, you and I would trade swift glances down the hall without a word being said and that was normal. It never even occured to me then that someday you would fill my mind with endless thoughts of what the future may hold for you and me. And I never thought that you would keep me awake through the night or that the things you say would taint my conscience. And yet, here we are, two people who became entwined due to destiny or fate, I don't really know what it is. And sometimes, I wonder if you feel the same way that I do, and yet I know that you are happy with the way things turned out for you, and maybe that's what tears me apart, to see that you are happy without me. I guess maybe a big part of me is just immature, cause deep down, when I disregard the circumstances and look at it, if I really did love you, I'd be happy for you, happy that you finally found someone you love, and yet, as happy as I am for you, I am so very bitter and alone that I can not bear to look you in the eye and be there for you, and for this I am sorry. Maybe all I need is some time, but the truth is, even as I write this, I'm afraid I've been tainted by bitterness and anger. But I just want you to know that I still love you, I just don't know how to express my love for you. I hope that some day, I'll gather enough strength to tell you how I really feel in person, but for now, I'm afraid all I can do is express my thoughts on paper, I know you'll understand.

I miss you.
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