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wry1 · 12-20-2003, 05:43 PM

I wouldn't call Snakedance cynical....I'm cynical.

It sounds like everybody involved here has some issues. First, you seem to have problems believing in your own ability to get and keep a relationship. Don't sweat it. Since other people are always involved in a relationship, there will always be some form of uncertainty and apprehension - you're not a mind reader, after all! What you need to focus on is your ability to be "okay" with things as they are; don't let yourself become absorbed with the negative possibilities. Be there for Shayna, and be there for your relationship. That's all you really can do, you know....

Second, I'm not sure what the deal is with Shayna. A night of hanging out, followed by a little kissing, and she's "smothered"? Okay, maybe there are issues there that you're not telling us about (or might not even know about yourself), but that's still a bit strange, if you ask me. Talk to her, tell her how you feel about her, and then work with her to build this relationship.

Evan. Hmmmm....what do I say about Evan? How long have you known this guy? How long has he been your "best" friend? Because he certainly doesn't seem to be acting like a friend if he's stabbing you in the back. Where I come from, friends - and especially best friends - help each other, support each other, and give each other shit when they fuck up. You need to have a serious talk with this guy, and possibly find yourself a new best friend if he's being an asshole.

I once had a friend that put me in something of the same situation you find yourself right now. I had done this guy a favor, and had gone on a blind date with a girl he knew. Before even meeting this girl, I had a long talk with the guy, and asked him point-blank if he was interested in her, as well as what she looked like and all the usual blind-date "victim" questions. He swore up and down that they were just friends, and that there was nothing between them, but when we both hit it off and started dating, I found that he was trying to sabotage things behind my back. I finally confronted him about it, and had to drop him from my list of friends....after a small fistfight (which he - thankfully - lost).

I'm not saying that this will be the same thing with you and Evan, but I am saying that you need to sort this shit out and fast! Not doing anything will just make the situation worse, not make it go away.

Good luck, and keep us informed!

12-20-2003, 05:43 PM	#7 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	I wouldn't call Snakedance cynical....I'm cynical. It sounds like everybody involved here has some issues. First, you seem to have problems believing in your own ability to get and keep a relationship. Don't sweat it. Since other people are always involved in a relationship, there will always be some form of uncertainty and apprehension - you're not a mind reader, after all! What you need to focus on is your ability to be "okay" with things as they are; don't let yourself become absorbed with the negative possibilities. Be there for Shayna, and be there for your relationship. That's all you really can do, you know.... Second, I'm not sure what the deal is with Shayna. A night of hanging out, followed by a little kissing, and she's "smothered"? Okay, maybe there are issues there that you're not telling us about (or might not even know about yourself), but that's still a bit strange, if you ask me. Talk to her, tell her how you feel about her, and then work with her to build this relationship. Evan. Hmmmm....what do I say about Evan? How long have you known this guy? How long has he been your "best" friend? Because he certainly doesn't seem to be acting like a friend if he's stabbing you in the back. Where I come from, friends - and especially best friends - help each other, support each other, and give each other shit when they fuck up. You need to have a serious talk with this guy, and possibly find yourself a new best friend if he's being an asshole. I once had a friend that put me in something of the same situation you find yourself right now. I had done this guy a favor, and had gone on a blind date with a girl he knew. Before even meeting this girl, I had a long talk with the guy, and asked him point-blank if he was interested in her, as well as what she looked like and all the usual blind-date "victim" questions. He swore up and down that they were just friends, and that there was nothing between them, but when we both hit it off and started dating, I found that he was trying to sabotage things behind my back. I finally confronted him about it, and had to drop him from my list of friends....after a small fistfight (which he - thankfully - lost). I'm not saying that this will be the same thing with you and Evan, but I am saying that you need to sort this shit out and fast! Not doing anything will just make the situation worse, not make it go away. Good luck, and keep us informed!