ElwoodBlues

Alright, somewhat long story incoming.

I've been friends with this girl for quite a while. Her name's Shayna. About 2 months ago, we had a little fling, spent a nite hanging out, ended up making out, next day she felt all "smothered" and ended whatever there might have been. Same thing happened about a month ago.

A week ago, the same thing happened, except she didn't end it the next day. She seemed really happy, and declared to me "you're mine" We've seen each other almost everyday in the past week, and I'm so incredibly happy. But herein lies the problem.

My best friend, Evan, stopped talking to me about a month ago for reasons which are beyond me. Just one night, he stopped talking to me. He and Shayna happen to be friends, and I know she liked him in the past. He found out about me and Shayna, and has expressed to her that he doesn't want her involved with me.

I told her last night online that I thought he was trying to get her to break up with me. She replied, "don't worry about it"....so I said "as long as its not working, I have nothing to worry about"
She didn't reply. About 15 minutes later she put on an away message and that was the last thing she said to me all night.

I know it seems trivial being only a one week relationship, but I don't exactly have the greatest luck with girls, so I'm very happy to be with her, and I feel like this could blossom into a geat relationship.

Am I just being paranoid thinking she'll break up with me because of Evan, or is there some basis to my worries?

sailor

Shouldnt this go in Tilted Sexuality?

__________________
"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
--Plato

ElwoodBlues

Maybe, I dunno, It doesn't really deal with sex. But if it would be more relevant there, mods, feel free to move

__________________
I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up." -Mitch Hedberg, '68-'05

Bauer's the man.

dnd

maybe tilted living..

but anyway, women are strange, this may seem crazy or just rude, but i seem to find that women always prefer guys in demand...whenever i'm with my girlfriend i get more attention from other ladies with a lot more smiles and sly looks etc (this is according to my girl). Just be cool with it, be happy with how its going with her, if its really worth being with her i feel that it will just work and evan will get over it. but u should have a chat with evan and ask why he can't be happy for you. Is it poss he likes her but realised too late and missed out on the opportunity?
and if its only a one week relationship, she maybe not used to spending so much time with you in a romantic situation, she may just feel closed in...best thing to do is talk it out imho

__________________
"Never underestimate a dumb question"-- Brandon Boyd

Kaos

If she wanted to be with Evan, she would be with him. It seems to me that she wants to be with you, so the only problem I can see is Do YOU have a problem with your friendship with Evan?

Is this a close friendship with him, does dating a girl that your friend wants a problem for you, and can you live with the fact that he is trying to already break you and Shayna up?

Also, I'm not sure what you meant when you told Shayna: "as long as its not working, I have nothing to worry about"

What's not working? Sounds like the relationship with her is starting to work

Snakedance

I am a little more cynical than most people but I would be suspicious about what kind of relationship she is having with your friend. Is she having the same type that she is having with you? Could it be possible that you are being used to to make your friend jealous...well you know the routine. Also I may have missed it, but are you male or female, in this day and age if it isnt stated I really hate to guess.

Communication would be the ticket. Something that rarely do relationships have in overabundance. Good Luck.

__________________
"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

wry1

I wouldn't call Snakedance cynical....I'm cynical.

It sounds like everybody involved here has some issues. First, you seem to have problems believing in your own ability to get and keep a relationship. Don't sweat it. Since other people are always involved in a relationship, there will always be some form of uncertainty and apprehension - you're not a mind reader, after all! What you need to focus on is your ability to be "okay" with things as they are; don't let yourself become absorbed with the negative possibilities. Be there for Shayna, and be there for your relationship. That's all you really can do, you know....

Second, I'm not sure what the deal is with Shayna. A night of hanging out, followed by a little kissing, and she's "smothered"? Okay, maybe there are issues there that you're not telling us about (or might not even know about yourself), but that's still a bit strange, if you ask me. Talk to her, tell her how you feel about her, and then work with her to build this relationship.

Evan. Hmmmm....what do I say about Evan? How long have you known this guy? How long has he been your "best" friend? Because he certainly doesn't seem to be acting like a friend if he's stabbing you in the back. Where I come from, friends - and especially best friends - help each other, support each other, and give each other shit when they fuck up. You need to have a serious talk with this guy, and possibly find yourself a new best friend if he's being an asshole.

I once had a friend that put me in something of the same situation you find yourself right now. I had done this guy a favor, and had gone on a blind date with a girl he knew. Before even meeting this girl, I had a long talk with the guy, and asked him point-blank if he was interested in her, as well as what she looked like and all the usual blind-date "victim" questions. He swore up and down that they were just friends, and that there was nothing between them, but when we both hit it off and started dating, I found that he was trying to sabotage things behind my back. I finally confronted him about it, and had to drop him from my list of friends....after a small fistfight (which he - thankfully - lost).

I'm not saying that this will be the same thing with you and Evan, but I am saying that you need to sort this shit out and fast! Not doing anything will just make the situation worse, not make it go away.

Good luck, and keep us informed!

ElwoodBlues

To answer a few questions

When I told Shayna "as long as it's not working" I was referring to as long as Evan's attempt to break us up isn't working

Evan has been my best friend for 2 years. About a month ago, he just stopped talking to me. So I'm on bad terms with him

I saw Shayna today, we spent alot of time together, things seem to be going well. Evan told her last night that he didn't want her to be involved with me. I think its none of his business if you ask me.

Thanks for your support everyone!

__________________
I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up." -Mitch Hedberg, '68-'05

Bauer's the man.

Kaos

Ahhh, ok...That clears it up for me. Relationships can be very hard, just concentrate on Shayna. Remove Evan from your life until he decides to straighten his act up, or lose his friendship permanently.