Giltwist

You know me from elsewhere?

Anyway, how I came to this belief. To understand this, you must know about my past. Step one: I went to a Christian middle school. The Bible classes there gave me a very good grasp of the Christian faith from which my current beliefs stem. Right now, you could say I am somewhere in the middle of Christian, Gnostic (not agnostic), and Deist. Then, I had some time to grow up and develop my own ideas upon return to public school. It was around this time I read Carlos Casteneda. Speaking of reading, you must know that I am an absolutely voracious reader. I have probably read in excess of 300 novels averaging, at the very least, 400 pages. I read mostly fantasy and scence fiction. One of my first interactions with other religions than Christianity were through Norse and Celtic mythologies.

Around my junior year, I began to really get the urge to know who and what I was. A quest which is ever unending in this life, I might add. About this time I really discovered the potential of the internet as a spiritual expanding tool. I have spent time in several of the circles out there. I spent time with the Sanguinarians, thinking myself, perhaps, a psi-vampire. While I have some of the signs, I came to realise this was not the case. I went for some time without any luck.

Then, a friend introduced me to, don't laugh, the Jedi. This surprisingly large group of people partake in a philosophical belief system based upon the behavior of Jedi in the movies. I looked to the Light Side. I knew I didn't belong there. I did not and do not hold enough with their belief in "good" and "evil", among other things. I looked to the Dark Side, different than the Sith of the movies, and did not hold enough with their self-serving ideals. I found myself in a very misunderstood third column, the Shadow Jedi. Considered, by most, to simply be a blending of or indecision between the other two sides, I was fortunate to make contact with the very small number of individuals who saw it independant of the other two. The Shadow, the true Shadow, are about, amoung other things. Shadow realize the deific power of humanity's ability to choose. To this end, we seek to free ourselves from preconceptions and stigma, a difficult task. We believe that to rise above being human animals we have to make the world react to us, as opposed to us reacting to the world. After some time I broke from the main group and attempted about two unsuccessful retoolings eliminating the Star Wars terminology. Then I graduated high school and entered college.

In college, I began to take philosophy courses, mostly logic, but a little of true philosophy as well. This began to help me understand the need to not just have beliefs but reasoning behind belief. Over the years I have spen a great deal of thought on many subjects in the dark of my room as i lay waiting for sleep. By this time, I had accrued friends of many walks of life. Most of whom were not Christian. This is when I started to contemplate what God is really about. I really like Diane Duane's idea of heaven. In her Young Wizards series of novels, she refers to a place called Timeheart. The rule of thumb with Timeheart is this. Everything which is loved, lives on.

Recently, having gotten my beliefs fairly well ordered, I went to speak to my Reverend. To my absolute delight, he agreed with me in the belief that God will take into consideration the totality of the person, not just the cookie cutter belief system many Christians would say He would.

So thats a little about me.

Peace be with you,
G