I have this rule: No co-workers, no roommates, and no neighbors. It keeps me out of trouble. When I get in trouble, I am not hemmed in by the people with whom I'm having difficulties, because of this rule.
Everyone needs to have some rules, and, respectfully, it sounds like you really don't have any.
In other news: If you loved your boyfriend, you would not be putting him through this. If you loved your friend, you would not be doing it to him either. This kind of situation lasts for a lot longer than it should because people seem to get confused about this aspect of love. Love is compassion.
While I applaud your sexual exploration, a complicated process requires limitations so that you don't go too fast, or too slow, for that matter.
My advice, to physically move away from all of these people, may not be practical for you. It may be impossible to do so without sending the wrong message. However, sending the wrong message is, in my opinion, the lesser of two evils in this situation. The greater evil is the depths of pain you are capable of inflicting.
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"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine
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