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Lunch with the Ex
It's not a big deal,
So why is my brain reeling over it?
what will he look like? how will he act? what will we talk about?
will I feel at all comfortable? will I over-analyze everything?
will he be a jerk? will I regret it? what should I wear?
what will I say when he questions my life? will I care about his?
what if I cry? what if I do something stupid?
what if he's totally different? what if I get shy?
what if I still want him? what if he hates me?
what if it's awful, awkward, and unbearable? could we possibly have fun?
what if he's totally over me? what if he makes fun of me?
what if he thinks I'm an idiot? what if I get emotional or snobby or too silly?
what if I act completely different than I want to?
what if he talks the entire time?
...that would be a relief.
Yes. I hope he talks and talks.
All I will have to do is nod.
Then we'll say goodbye, and I'll feel no more toward him and no less than I do right now.
No change.
That would be nice.
Maybe I'll get sick tomorrow.
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go cubs!
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