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wow, i am really surprised at the depth of these posts. i have always had respect for the members of tfp, and expected some, but i was really just waiting for a couple of "you're a slutty ho" posts.
i really appreciate everything everyone has had to say so far. i feel that each of you has really contributed to my view of the situation.
empu and secretmethod70 - both of you refered to my desire for emotional chaos. i think you are right, and don't worry about offending me. i believe it functions on a subconscious level, and maybe in some small portions on a conscious level. and you're right empu - i'm not sure if or how to deal with it. i think my question is this: if i chose to deal with it, try to at least tone it down, how would i go about doing so? i feel that if i am informed of what such a step might take, i would be closer to deciding if that works for me.
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