Right about now in 30 minutes, my ex is getting an abortion.. and my mate is there supporting her.. oh yay.. !
she doesn't want me to be there, and she doesn't want to know me.. I Told her that me and my mate had agreed that he wouldn't see her in person anymore, and she started crying her eyes out.. so i was like, well ur happiness is all that matters to me, so do whatever you's like - as much as I didn't want to say that, I still care for her and just want her to be happy..
You can't control people and what they want to do etc - but I still think it is wrong, because consideration is a big role in people's lives, everything has come back on to me and lately I have felt so bloody bad and wanting to kill myself because I can't seem to get anywhere out of this whole situation, She won't speak to me, no matter what - and I don't want them being together etc, but I just want her to be happy, so I sacrificed my own sort of happiness, just to keep her happy.
SO I feel like I have won, by being the better person - but it doesn't really change how I feel.
I failed where I wanted to succeed the most - but I reckon if they make anything out of it, he'll get his little heart broken too and he'll come to me - haha that will be the funneh!
So yeah, as much as i'd like to call my mates "mates" as in like the meaning of the word... it doesn't feel like it.
Well I just called my mate, who is taking her to get an abortion right now.. and I rang to speak to her just to say, good luck my thoughts are with you I will be thinking of you, you have been so strong and I am proud of you.
She goes "when are you going to understand? That I don't want to speak to YOU AT ALL"
I'm like, It was the right thing to do, Just be strong.. okay.. and she said all this "and you say you care about me?!?! if you did you wouldn't be calling me" I was like WHAT THE FUCK!!??! You need to grow up and get some maturity - seriously, she then replies with "So to whose benefit is this?" I said "Yours" then she hung up.
Why the fuck am I trying to make people happy and they just do not give a shit at all?
I feel like keeping that promise he made to me and not seeing her in person at all anymore, if she's gonna keep giving me shit, and making me feel like absolutely nothing.. then why can't I be selfish and do the whole "you promised me" thing etc, they think they have won, I been the best person I could of been through all of this and she simply JUST DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT.
They are both dogs as far as im concerned, bad as one another and can both get fucked.
I wish I didn't care, but I do