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raeanna74 · 12-03-2003, 09:34 AM

No matter what you say use the words "I feel like..." not "You don't act like..." The first phrase is personal and non accusatory, the other is attacking. If they truely love you they will want to reassure you that they do and shouldn't get angry. They will be hurt but not as much if you state your feelings as being a personal thing with you only and express that you are needing reassurance.

Also, coming from an open, swinger, relationship, I would not recommend suggesting that your SO act out sexual desires with others and only come to you when they truely want you only. My relationship with dei37 ONLY works because we are both sure of the love that we have for each other. If your SO were to go to others for sexual satisfaction then you would be hurt and believe that your SO doesn't love you - if they don't love you then you shouldn't pursue the relationship with them or at the very least don't give them an open relationship.

Before you approach them with your question assure them of your feelings for them and assure them that you have no desire to hurt them. Let them know that you value your relationship and that you want to cultivate your relationship and that this is the reason that you want to discuss this with them. If they know that you are asking for this reassurance because you love them and want to be with them and not because you are looking for an out then they should be less afraid and less hurt.

Good Luck

12-03-2003, 09:34 AM	#6 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	No matter what you say use the words "I feel like..." not "You don't act like..." The first phrase is personal and non accusatory, the other is attacking. If they truely love you they will want to reassure you that they do and shouldn't get angry. They will be hurt but not as much if you state your feelings as being a personal thing with you only and express that you are needing reassurance. Also, coming from an open, swinger, relationship, I would not recommend suggesting that your SO act out sexual desires with others and only come to you when they truely want you only. My relationship with dei37 ONLY works because we are both sure of the love that we have for each other. If your SO were to go to others for sexual satisfaction then you would be hurt and believe that your SO doesn't love you - if they don't love you then you shouldn't pursue the relationship with them or at the very least don't give them an open relationship. Before you approach them with your question assure them of your feelings for them and assure them that you have no desire to hurt them. Let them know that you value your relationship and that you want to cultivate your relationship and that this is the reason that you want to discuss this with them. If they know that you are asking for this reassurance because you love them and want to be with them and not because you are looking for an out then they should be less afraid and less hurt. Good Luck __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.