If someone is dating, and you re simply being charming and nice, and she falls for you, thats ok. If you tell her that her bf isa jerk and you are much better, that is not ok. Women are fickle, and they will change their mind. If you make yourself available, and make your intentions discreetly known to her, then she can make a choice. Until he puts a ring on her finger, she is fair game.
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