Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Frequent Fighting--How do you know when to call it quits?

toxic515 · 11-25-2003, 04:12 PM

Don't allow a discussion to take on a personal and combative note. Keep your conversation factual and working towards the resolution of an issue. Otherwise ANYTHING can turn into a fight. She is feeling insecure about something, but then, so are you, apparently. It takes 2 to fight... ONe is simply a person yelling. Ask direct questions that can be answered factually, and don't present an opportunity to lie or try to trap her in something like that. Tell her you're concerned about all of the arguing lately, and would vastly prefer to have a conversation to discuss what's really going on. Then don't present things as attacks. If she goes left on you for something like a buddy bailing out on a double date, the simple answer is " I cannot affect his choices directly, and cannot be responsible for his choices." Life's very much like a chess game, albeit a great deal more complex, but in the end, you can only move your own peices. It's possible she's trying to make you break up so she doesn't have to be the "bad one". Be prepared to deal with the answers you get, as you may not like them at all. Better to know the truth upfront I'd think.

11-25-2003, 04:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
toxic515 Addict Location: Texas	Don't allow a discussion to take on a personal and combative note. Keep your conversation factual and working towards the resolution of an issue. Otherwise ANYTHING can turn into a fight. She is feeling insecure about something, but then, so are you, apparently. It takes 2 to fight... ONe is simply a person yelling. Ask direct questions that can be answered factually, and don't present an opportunity to lie or try to trap her in something like that. Tell her you're concerned about all of the arguing lately, and would vastly prefer to have a conversation to discuss what's really going on. Then don't present things as attacks. If she goes left on you for something like a buddy bailing out on a double date, the simple answer is " I cannot affect his choices directly, and cannot be responsible for his choices." Life's very much like a chess game, albeit a great deal more complex, but in the end, you can only move your own peices. It's possible she's trying to make you break up so she doesn't have to be the "bad one". Be prepared to deal with the answers you get, as you may not like them at all. Better to know the truth upfront I'd think. __________________ Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.