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Originally posted by Menofhonor
I just found out during that fight that she had slept with someone while we were dating but before we were engaged.
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You now know she has the capacity for cheating.
From here on in, please accept that what I'm telling you is my honest and UNBIASED appraisal of your situation. I apologize in advance for it's harshness, but I think you're looking for the true opinions, and I will not hold back just because my opinion is harsh- because if i'm at all correct, then the situation is, indeed, quite harsh.
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Originally posted by Menofhonor
The things that she has done to make me jealous are she parties with her girl friends and him and another guy or two at least once a week and I am not invited.
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She's fucking him. The fact that you are not invited is total bullshit. She's fucking him.
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Originally posted by Menofhonor
They went on a research conference together and one night stayed in the same hotel room with just the two of them for cost reasons.
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BULLSHIT.
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Originally posted by Menofhonor
They ate at a fancy resteraunt together with just the two of them during this conference.
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It happens, but when we have all the other elements here that lead towards cheating, it only adds to the scenario.
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Originally posted by Menofhonor
They sometimes hang out at his place to watch movies with just the two of them.
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She's fucking him, she's fucking him, she's fucking him.
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Originally posted by Menofhonor
Another thing is that she really hasn't felt the passion for me for probably over 3 or 4 years now.....she is very rarely in the mood to have sex and rarely ever wants to kiss me more than a peck. When we do have sex I dont always feel like she is into it.
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She's not, because she's into the other guy. She's not kissing you because she either a.) is not into you enough to kiss you, or b.) she feels guilty kissing you when she loves the other guy. YES, people who cheat CAN feel guilty about kissing/etc. their legitimate partner because they feel more for the person they're cheating on you with. It's a harsh fact of reality. I'm very sorry. God help you if you 2 have kids. Move on to someone else. Go talk to a lawyer before you lose half your shit because she wants a different dick. Best of luck.
EDIT: Both for you, and the others reading this- please keep in mind that all these obvious signs of cheating do not necessarily mean you're innocent here. You may very well be doing things that bother the shit out of her, and she's looking for some love SOMEWHERE. You may well have been a neglectful husband, and not giving her the attention she needs/deserves. Do some real introspection and see what happens. You might find out you've been inadequate with your affections, or just not a nice person in general. It happens, yes- but it should serve as a sign to change yourself in a positive way.