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Old 11-20-2003, 09:42 AM   #14 (permalink)
twotimesadingo
Psycho
 
Location: that place with the thing
Re: Relationship question

Quote:
Originally posted by Menofhonor
Now she has this close guy friend that has really been making me jealous but my wife doesn't seem to care.
Along with Averett's quote, this would trouble me deeply, as well. Someone you love should care if you have qualms about something. Granted, after a talk, perhaps nothing in practice would change, but the fact remains that she should be cognizant and considerate of your fears.

You noted that you're both low- to mid-20s, and have been married for five years. Honestly, and I don't mean this to be abrasive, but that tells me that you're both immature; immature in the sense that you've probably never been in enough relationships to really recognize how they're supposed to work.

Primarily, communication has to be easy. Perhaps this is what ratbastid meant when he said that you need to be honest; perhaps you've known about this lapse in communication for a while, and have not brought it up... You need to be able to sit her down, talk very rationally (don't raise your voice), and solve some preliminary problems. If she again uses caustic language with the goal of hurting you, I'd say skip marriage counseling and just get the hell out. She's too young, and far too immature; and perhaps you are, as well. Though I've no experience with it myself, I'd imagine marriage counseling is geared toward solving problems, not helping someone grow up (but then, as SecretMethod said, it is probably in your best interest to talk to a marriage counselor and get some information, even if you do so without her).

If I had a wife who didn't seem to care about a major fear of mine (especially when it's worries about extra-marital affairs), then I'd say it's a good indication that she has already distanced herself too much for any fruitful mediation.
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I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and voice of reason.
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices, son.
They're one and the same I must isolate you, isolate and save you from yourself."
- A Perfect Circle
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