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Your patience in this matter is instrumental. This fantasy WILL NOT GO AWAY. Funny thing about life is, you always want what you can't have. You shouldn't cheat, but you still need to be honest with yourself. If you think you can slowly wear down her inhibitions, that is the best road to take. If you are five years down the line and she hasn't budged at all, you owe it to yourself to cheat.
Here's a good speech when you are at the end of your rope. "I love you, but there are things that I NEED sexually that you refuse to give me. I'm going to cheat on you PHYSICALLY. If you want to take a fast track to satisfying my fantasies, than I will glady start, but in the end I need to be faithful to myself. What's it gonna be?"
Cheating right now is not reasonable, but eventually it will have to happen, because you will want this MMF stuff for the rest of your life. Some people can deal with a life without satisfaction, others can't.
I agree from a previous post that some soul searching definitely needs to take place.
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"Principle is okay up to a certain point, but principle doesn't do any good if you lose." Dick Cheney
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