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wilbjammin · 11-17-2003, 12:35 PM

This is going to sound a little weird, and might not be helpful, but I'm going to say what has worked with me.

When I find that I start to get depressed and unmotivated it is because I feel fractured. Society now is so abstract, and people are so abstract that relating to people and feeling as though I have a real investment in existence and that it means something can be nearly impossible. Loneliness and comparing your life to others thinking things like "why can't I be happy and those stupid people do the lamest things I've ever seen on a daily basis, yet they're bursting with happiness?" makes it even harder.

But, what turns it all around for me is my unwillingness to let things get the best of me. Instead of being depressed I rebel against the whole situation. I wouldn't say that I become angry necessarily, that isn't the right word. But I do feel like a fire is lit in my chest. Instead of doing things to fit in, instead of doing things to connect myself with the abstract world we're in, I gain strength in living <i>in spite of</i> all of this. If you don't enjoy drinking or dancing, then why should you want to do that for others? Find a way to simplify your life to some essential things that mean something to you, and reach towards building those up. For me that was writing poetry, writing music, reading philosophy and other literature, spending time along with nature (God, how people exist without pulling away from the city long enough to feel alive, I have no idea...), and some other things. Its hard to tell someone "oh, just go out and find some internal motivator... some intrinsic meaning in your life." It definitely is a search, and just embarking on that journey even if you find no answers is a way to pull yourself out of bed in the morning and say, "I don't know, but I'm looking."

11-17-2003, 12:35 PM	#15 (permalink)
wilbjammin * * *	This is going to sound a little weird, and might not be helpful, but I'm going to say what has worked with me. When I find that I start to get depressed and unmotivated it is because I feel fractured. Society now is so abstract, and people are so abstract that relating to people and feeling as though I have a real investment in existence and that it means something can be nearly impossible. Loneliness and comparing your life to others thinking things like "why can't I be happy and those stupid people do the lamest things I've ever seen on a daily basis, yet they're bursting with happiness?" makes it even harder. But, what turns it all around for me is my unwillingness to let things get the best of me. Instead of being depressed I rebel against the whole situation. I wouldn't say that I become angry necessarily, that isn't the right word. But I do feel like a fire is lit in my chest. Instead of doing things to fit in, instead of doing things to connect myself with the abstract world we're in, I gain strength in living <i>in spite of</i> all of this. If you don't enjoy drinking or dancing, then why should you want to do that for others? Find a way to simplify your life to some essential things that mean something to you, and reach towards building those up. For me that was writing poetry, writing music, reading philosophy and other literature, spending time along with nature (God, how people exist without pulling away from the city long enough to feel alive, I have no idea...), and some other things. Its hard to tell someone "oh, just go out and find some internal motivator... some intrinsic meaning in your life." It definitely is a search, and just embarking on that journey even if you find no answers is a way to pull yourself out of bed in the morning and say, "I don't know, but I'm looking." __________________ Innominate.