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rainheart · 11-17-2003, 12:23 AM

Ok to say the least this post is going to sound ... deviant ... from the other sort of responses so far.

First off don't focus on one girl all the time- remember 'getting girls 101' one-itis, this will happen right here and I can see it.

You are as far as I know by your post attracted to this girl because she is cute and are in the process of setting yourself up to like her for who she is regardless of who she really is. (Trust me you can meet a girl that isn't your type but is a nice person, and she is smoking hot, and you decide afterall she would be a great person to have a relationship with and decide to go for it.)

Those other guys chatting her up are probably busy chatting up other cute girls at other times in a bid to get some. Get what? Relationship, sex, social status, whatever.

Furthermore when you don't obsess about one girl you will naturally keep your cool because hey, if you fuck up, whatever! There's another 5 more to pick from... and hundreds of millions more you haven't met.

Next, don't present this girl with a situation where you are letting her know she is the commodity and you are in the market. In other words, don't present her with a situation that explicity tells her that you are interested in her. First off you have to think quite a bit about that- what is she going to think? Likely she will realize you don't know her for that long and as so many other guys have been, you are interested in her for her looks. Also you are telling her that she has something you want, and she is going to take advantage of that somehow. You need to engineer the situations so that she is the one that takes an interest in you (sending mixed signals might help with this).

Who cares if she has a boyfriend? Not you. You're not that interested in her, she's supposed to be interested in you.

If she replies "I have a boyfriend" you tell her "That's nice, but I don't really want him to come along if that's what you're suggesting- I just wanted to chat with you over some food, I thought you might be up for it." because you NEVER KNOW if she's just bullshitting you. And if she does say she has a boyfriend as events unfold and you find out that she lied- then you know she is into playing these games.

If she really does have a boyfriend...? Well, it's up to you if you want to steal her away, I personally wouldn't. (Plenty more stable fish in the sea) Good luck!

Edit: To answer the question to your thread title, try this--

If you get time to chat with her just laugh at something that you're thinking about, enticing her to ask "what's so funny?" or something like that, and then you explain to her how your ex girlfriend's been contacting you recently to go out and do things with even though she knows you're busy. You then continue to remark that the relationship you had was going fine but she had to move away due to unforseen circumstances and that you enjoyed it for what it was, but it's over now. Now you've brought up the subject of relationships and can somewhat safely ask her if she has a boyfriend- e.g. "How about you? Do you have a boyfriend? Have you experienced something like that before?"

You can change how to present everything including the story and the line you say which asks her if she has a boyfriend, but generally you entice her to get you to describe something that brings up the subject of relationships and lets you safely ask her if she has a boyfriend without it seeming like you are interested.

11-17-2003, 12:23 AM	#8 (permalink)
rainheart Psycho	Ok to say the least this post is going to sound ... deviant ... from the other sort of responses so far. First off don't focus on one girl all the time- remember 'getting girls 101' one-itis, this will happen right here and I can see it. You are as far as I know by your post attracted to this girl because she is cute and are in the process of setting yourself up to like her for who she is regardless of who she really is. (Trust me you can meet a girl that isn't your type but is a nice person, and she is smoking hot, and you decide afterall she would be a great person to have a relationship with and decide to go for it.) Those other guys chatting her up are probably busy chatting up other cute girls at other times in a bid to get some. Get what? Relationship, sex, social status, whatever. Furthermore when you don't obsess about one girl you will naturally keep your cool because hey, if you fuck up, whatever! There's another 5 more to pick from... and hundreds of millions more you haven't met. Next, don't present this girl with a situation where you are letting her know she is the commodity and you are in the market. In other words, don't present her with a situation that explicity tells her that you are interested in her. First off you have to think quite a bit about that- what is she going to think? Likely she will realize you don't know her for that long and as so many other guys have been, you are interested in her for her looks. Also you are telling her that she has something you want, and she is going to take advantage of that somehow. You need to engineer the situations so that she is the one that takes an interest in you (sending mixed signals might help with this). Who cares if she has a boyfriend? Not you. You're not that interested in her, she's supposed to be interested in you. If she replies "I have a boyfriend" you tell her "That's nice, but I don't really want him to come along if that's what you're suggesting- I just wanted to chat with you over some food, I thought you might be up for it." because you NEVER KNOW if she's just bullshitting you. And if she does say she has a boyfriend as events unfold and you find out that she lied- then you know she is into playing these games. If she really does have a boyfriend...? Well, it's up to you if you want to steal her away, I personally wouldn't. (Plenty more stable fish in the sea) Good luck! Edit: To answer the question to your thread title, try this-- If you get time to chat with her just laugh at something that you're thinking about, enticing her to ask "what's so funny?" or something like that, and then you explain to her how your ex girlfriend's been contacting you recently to go out and do things with even though she knows you're busy. You then continue to remark that the relationship you had was going fine but she had to move away due to unforseen circumstances and that you enjoyed it for what it was, but it's over now. Now you've brought up the subject of relationships and can somewhat safely ask her if she has a boyfriend- e.g. "How about you? Do you have a boyfriend? Have you experienced something like that before?" You can change how to present everything including the story and the line you say which asks her if she has a boyfriend, but generally you entice her to get you to describe something that brings up the subject of relationships and lets you safely ask her if she has a boyfriend without it seeming like you are interested. Last edited by rainheart; 11-17-2003 at 12:33 AM..