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In general, there is an important piece of information I give everyone. You can only take responsibility for yourself... and thus, you can't control what you want this person to be. I think you are in a position of extreme power over her, and you need to be careful with that. I would imagine that you're torn between accepting this enormous amount of affection that she gives you, and the understanding that she has serious problems that you can't fix. Since you aren't her boyfriend, and she's in a cycle of dependency and it sounds like a cycle of self-depreciation/self-destruction then you might try to work on helping her build herself up and maintaining a degree of distance from her. You can view this as a challenge to yourself to give up on this ideal of courtly love and move towards practicality. It is not easy, but it sounds like you have also made this into a situation that you're dependent on. It is easy not to worry about other relationships and moving on when you don't let yourself move on... I know too well how comfortable that crutch is. Be there for her as a friend, and try to help yourself and her move on.
Or ignore my advice, as it is only advice. It is up to you to choose.
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Innominate.
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