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torn lace · 11-16-2003, 01:49 PM

*ahem* my biological father walked out on my mom when he found out she was pregnant with me. he was a really fucking immature 28 year old dirtbag who was into drugs. she chose to keep me, and when i was young, they had joint custody, although he thought he could flee to the next state in order to escape paying childsupport (doesn't work!). my mom struggled to earn a living working at a primary school ana d pizzaria, while earning a degree in nursing at a nearby college. so he was a real asshole to me, always saying he would come take me out, but he would never show up. i can distinctly remember waiting outside on my front porch (my mom and I lived with her mom), just waiting for what seemed like hours for him to arrive, and he never did. it really took a toll on me as a child. i always felt worthless, and it still affects me to this day when it comes to men, i'm always terrified that i'll be rejected during a relationship, etc. Eventually it got to the point where i decided i didn't want to see him at all. it just hurt too much. throughout my life we did receive childsupport, and i can attest to the fact that however small, every little bit helps in raising a child. even in respect to little things, like having the extras (like oreos and new sneakers) that all the other kids could have without a problem. sometimes you have to have what is best for the child in mind, and not your selfish interests. it was best for me not to have contact with my father, though his check was greatly appreciated while growing up. you always have a responsibility to the life that you helped to create. after 13 years i have just met him again and his family, and we're developing some sort of relationship. i'm in college, i'm adjusted, and it's the right time now.

so don't fucking be an asshole to the children that you had a part in creating. don't blame anyone, and don't try to get out of it. it's no one's fault, and it's especially NOT THE CHILD'S FAULT. so do what you can to make their life happy and healthy.

11-16-2003, 01:49 PM	#22 (permalink)
torn lace Upright Location: East Village, NYC	ahem my biological father walked out on my mom when he found out she was pregnant with me. he was a really fucking immature 28 year old dirtbag who was into drugs. she chose to keep me, and when i was young, they had joint custody, although he thought he could flee to the next state in order to escape paying childsupport (doesn't work!). my mom struggled to earn a living working at a primary school ana d pizzaria, while earning a degree in nursing at a nearby college. so he was a real asshole to me, always saying he would come take me out, but he would never show up. i can distinctly remember waiting outside on my front porch (my mom and I lived with her mom), just waiting for what seemed like hours for him to arrive, and he never did. it really took a toll on me as a child. i always felt worthless, and it still affects me to this day when it comes to men, i'm always terrified that i'll be rejected during a relationship, etc. Eventually it got to the point where i decided i didn't want to see him at all. it just hurt too much. throughout my life we did receive childsupport, and i can attest to the fact that however small, every little bit helps in raising a child. even in respect to little things, like having the extras (like oreos and new sneakers) that all the other kids could have without a problem. sometimes you have to have what is best for the child in mind, and not your selfish interests. it was best for me not to have contact with my father, though his check was greatly appreciated while growing up. you always have a responsibility to the life that you helped to create. after 13 years i have just met him again and his family, and we're developing some sort of relationship. i'm in college, i'm adjusted, and it's the right time now. so don't fucking be an asshole to the children that you had a part in creating. don't blame anyone, and don't try to get out of it. it's no one's fault, and it's especially NOT THE CHILD'S FAULT. so do what you can to make their life happy and healthy. __________________ make it electric.