Things to do:
1. Pull down your pants.
2. Yell at Mr. Happy
3. Tell him that he is a “Bad, BAD! Penis” and to stop “running your life”
4. Pull your pants back up
5. Never call her again. EVER, if she calls you say you are busy.
6. If she wants to fuck, don’t.
7. If you end up fucking, then repeat steps 1 though 6
After this one of two things can happen:
a) She will get the hint that you are not just her little skank-on-the-side and will stop talking to you. (good outcome)
Or
b) She will fall madly in love with you. (terrible outcome…but try explaining that to your penis…)
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