Hi everyone. My girlfriend of just under eight months has been acting very strangely lately. This post might go on a bit, sorry for that, but this is really getting me down.
We're both students and this past month, and the next week or two, have been busy for the both of us. She has exams, I have final essays to write. It's been very hectic for the both of us, but despite that I've noted that we've seen each other just as much, if not slightly more than usual. She's not so into her course as I am, so she isn't so motivated to study. I am though, and I've been studying a lot lately. I think this has a lot to do with things, but I'm not totally sure.
Last week she told me with a smile that she's gone past the 'lust' stage, and that she's not always wanting to jump me anymore. I'm not sure how to take that. She smiled, and then changed the subject and we kept going normally. This wasn't right before sex or anything, it was just in a normal conversation. I was shocked, to say the least.
For the past few days she's been sending me messages saying she feels strange, she feels odd, she's confused, maybe it's just stressed, she doesn't know how she feels. I though she meant she was pregnant and was all ready to comfort her, and we would work it out. Instead after totally changing tact and saying it's not a big deal, I wrestle it out of her, and she tells me that the past few times we've been together she just hasn't felt that 'spark', and that she's not sure why. She says she's puting it down to stress and that's it, but I felt so hurt, and suddenly almost repulsed by her. I felt like I was going to be sick, she said it so casually.
I let it go and forced myself to believe it was just beause of stress from exams etc.
But she's been acting more strange lately. If I don't have sex with her she complains that I don't love her, and if I do then she starts crying and thinks I only want her for sex. She'll hardly let me touch her but she'll grab my penis whenever she wants and yank it, or something, even if my family or friends are around. Yesterday I was telling her about how my grandmother's dog passed away, and then how she passed away soon afterwards, and how I was so sad when I was a little kid when it happened. As soon as I finished my story her words were: "Ooh, I've got a good one. A few years ago James and I were in the park and we saw two people having sex."
If I ever make plans for us she'll feel tired or sick and want to go home early. It happens every time, I can set my watch to it. If we're at a party or a bar she'll want to leave early. However I find out today that she's made plans for Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, her plans are big too. All-nighters.
The the other day she was worried at 9pm that her parents would kill her for being out on a night when she had an exam the next day, and that she was screwed for the exam, and she needed sleep so badly. So she went home, or so I thought. I got a message on my phone at 2.30am that said she was just coming back from Bob's (not his real name) and that she wished me a good night. I've never met Bob and I don't know who he is, and what she was doing there until 2.30am when she had an exam 6 hours later?
All this stuff has been bothering me so much. I'm 100% sure she's not cheating on me, I think she's dropping all these guys' names to make me jealous, but I don't like it. She got incredibly jealous when I had a beer and watched a DVD on my own after finishing a 2-week long major essay, and yet she'll go out to bars 3 nights in a row with other friends and not even tell me.
I don't know what to do. After she told me that the spark wasn't there, but she's sure it's just stress, I feel so ashamed to admit that I felt (and feel) a twinge of disgust. When I'm with her, part of me thinks 'I'm going to do everything I can do get that spark back for you!' and another part thinks 'Well, f--k you too.'
I'm really not sure what to do about this
Sorry for the super long post, but I have so much on my mind