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"I'll punch your face."
I don't have any moral problem with threatening people, works for me. They'd deserve a punch in the face if they're able to work me up too, I'm normally a pretty nice guy. Even so, if you managed that would make you either excessively insensitive or just mean, both great reasons to punch face.
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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
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