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Darkeryet · 10-30-2003, 10:55 AM

1 - More than 98% of convicted felons are bread eaters.

2 - Fully HALF of all children in the United States who grow up in bread-consuming households score blow average on standardized tests.

3 - In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged entire nations.

4 - More than 90% of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5 - Bread is made from a substance called "dough". It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!!

6 - Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson’s disease and osteoporosis.

7 - Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, begged for bread after only two days!

8 - Bread is often a 'gateway' food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts!

9 - Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90% water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10 - Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11 - Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12 - Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless babbling.

**Other notes of Bread (the food devil)**

Bread is evil. Friends don't let friends eat bread. Increase your active life style, decrease your hair loss and stop eating bread while you still can.

Bread can manipulate you, control you and make you do things you wouldn't normally do... ever forgot someone's birthday? Yep, thank bread for that.

The word "dead" rhymes with "bread". Coincidence? I don't think so.

This could have gone into the Humor section but I thought it also had another side to it. Do statistics always prove a point or do they just bring up more questions?

10-30-2003, 10:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
Darkeryet Upright	Stats in on bread...stats don't lie 1 - More than 98% of convicted felons are bread eaters. 2 - Fully HALF of all children in the United States who grow up in bread-consuming households score blow average on standardized tests. 3 - In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged entire nations. 4 - More than 90% of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. 5 - Bread is made from a substance called "dough". It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!! 6 - Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson’s disease and osteoporosis. 7 - Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, begged for bread after only two days! 8 - Bread is often a 'gateway' food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts! 9 - Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90% water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. 10 - Newborn babies can choke on bread. 11 - Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. 12 - Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless babbling. Other notes of Bread (the food devil) Bread is evil. Friends don't let friends eat bread. Increase your active life style, decrease your hair loss and stop eating bread while you still can. Bread can manipulate you, control you and make you do things you wouldn't normally do... ever forgot someone's birthday? Yep, thank bread for that. The word "dead" rhymes with "bread". Coincidence? I don't think so. This could have gone into the Humor section but I thought it also had another side to it. Do statistics always prove a point or do they just bring up more questions? __________________ Darkeryet