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raeanna74 · 10-25-2003, 06:18 PM

I wish you all the luck and prayers in the world. I'm glad you are choosing to raise the baby. I cannot imagine telling my parents what's going on. I would suggest maybe (depending on your parents) meeting them in a more public place to talk it over. For exampling inviting Mom to go out for coffee with you. The public environment might help them restrain themselves so they don't yell and get too emotional. Its a suggestion - you know them best. You could get a place for yourself but if you can just have it "tentative" then if your parents don't flip out like you expect then you might not have to use it. Not only will it be hard to have the baby and go through the pregnancy alone it would be harder if you lived on your own. I know my parents are very conservative and strong disapprove of sex before married let alone getting pregnant outside of marriage. After other events that I've been through I can be pretty sure that they would have been very upset with me for that kind of thing they would also very much desire to be a part of helping me and raising the baby. They may be less upset than you expect. This is their Grandchild too and the love they have for you and the future grandchild may soften their reaction. Assure them of your intensions and remind them that you want them to be a part of the baby's life. That may help them control their emotions. No matter what I'm sure there will be a lot of emotion. Try not to hold a grudge against them for their reaction. This will be a surprise and upsetting but they may come back later to patch things up. Be open to that.

Personally - I think if this happened to my daughter (granted she's a long ways from puberty yet let alone 19) I would be upset and maybe angry but I wouldn't want her to feel like I'm going to hold it against her or that she has to move out.

If you do get a place that you can move to don't announce that you are moving out until everything calms down. That may tell them inadvertantly that you "Don't want them to have a say or part in the birth and raising the baby at all". That will hurt them more and make it harder to keep things calm.

No matter what hugs and prayers are coming your way. I hope it goes well. Just tackle this and get it over with rather than let your imagination scare you to death.

10-25-2003, 06:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I wish you all the luck and prayers in the world. I'm glad you are choosing to raise the baby. I cannot imagine telling my parents what's going on. I would suggest maybe (depending on your parents) meeting them in a more public place to talk it over. For exampling inviting Mom to go out for coffee with you. The public environment might help them restrain themselves so they don't yell and get too emotional. Its a suggestion - you know them best. You could get a place for yourself but if you can just have it "tentative" then if your parents don't flip out like you expect then you might not have to use it. Not only will it be hard to have the baby and go through the pregnancy alone it would be harder if you lived on your own. I know my parents are very conservative and strong disapprove of sex before married let alone getting pregnant outside of marriage. After other events that I've been through I can be pretty sure that they would have been very upset with me for that kind of thing they would also very much desire to be a part of helping me and raising the baby. They may be less upset than you expect. This is their Grandchild too and the love they have for you and the future grandchild may soften their reaction. Assure them of your intensions and remind them that you want them to be a part of the baby's life. That may help them control their emotions. No matter what I'm sure there will be a lot of emotion. Try not to hold a grudge against them for their reaction. This will be a surprise and upsetting but they may come back later to patch things up. Be open to that. Personally - I think if this happened to my daughter (granted she's a long ways from puberty yet let alone 19) I would be upset and maybe angry but I wouldn't want her to feel like I'm going to hold it against her or that she has to move out. If you do get a place that you can move to don't announce that you are moving out until everything calms down. That may tell them inadvertantly that you "Don't want them to have a say or part in the birth and raising the baby at all". That will hurt them more and make it harder to keep things calm. No matter what hugs and prayers are coming your way. I hope it goes well. Just tackle this and get it over with rather than let your imagination scare you to death. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.