phredgreen

okay kiddies. for those of you who remember, this is the same bird that i talked about back in my big relationship dilemma thread back on v3. for those of you who don't, i'll give you the short short version.

met a girl. we got together. she cheated, i forgave. we got pregnant. we got married. she camwhored, i caught her. i sent her and the baby away to her mom's, where the baby would have its needs taken care of (and has).

and now, as paul harvey would say, the rest of the story.


i was served with divorce papers back in march. according to oregon state bar information, if there is no problems with the paperwork, no repsonse is needed. so, i sat on this paperwork and waited. i simply cannot afford a lawyer to fight this and mount massive law fees on my already steaming pile of debt, so against most advisement, i'm going this alone, legally.

so it is mid-october, seven months later, and still nothing from the courts. i haven't heard word one as to any hearings or trial dates, i'm completely in the dark. my ex is making up for the complete lack of any communication from the courts with her own communications, a litany of lies, threats, insults, and constant prodding against me, my character, my family, and my general existence on this planet. she asserts that she will "bleed me dry," that she will leave me "penniless and homeless" once the courts are done with me. now her mother has hired a lawyer who plants many ideas into my dear ex wife's head, more for the increase of the legal bill than for the betterment of the situation. all of this leads up to a point where i am no longer willing to go on with the game, to allow her any more control over my life, to give her a constant leash at which she can tug and choke me because she feels inadequate that she cannot sustain a monogamous relationship.

and because of all this, because of her incessant threats of financial and psychological ruin, i'm ready to walk away. i'm ready to close the door, lock the bolt, and throw the key out of the window as i drive away. to be honest, i'm not much of my little girl's life anyways. an occasional call, normally ending up with my ex on the line shouting obscenities before i hang up, but that is it. i've already missed first steps, first words, hell, most of the formative years of this child's life, i feel like nothing more than an abstract concept that this child barely remembers, let alone cares about. i have no desire to continue to be my ex's toy, another thing for her to control. i'm just about done.

so i'm not sure what i'm looking for in starting a thread. maybe a "hell yeah, go for it" or a "gee, phred, that dosen't sound like a good idea" - i just don't know. i just wanna say what i wanna say, to get it out in the open. i'm tired of being played by someone who i sent away from my life more than a year ago. enough is enough.

__________________
My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
- Thomas Paine