Quote:
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Maybe I'm just in need of some sleep, but can anyone else identify with the tremendous feeling that comes when you push yourself to the limits and then succeed? [/B]
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Now, Add this into the above statement.
If you get a great grade on a project in the situation above after procrastinating so long, do you not feel even better knowing that it took so LITTLE effort/time to get it done. ...while at the same time, if you get a mediocre grade on a project that you procrastinated, you justify the grade by saying, "I didn't put any real work into it, so therefore I don't feel so bad."
Mind you, this is never a way to be successful, as I can attest to. Though does this in itself end up being a reward mechanism? Can one become addicted to procrastination, when above all else there is no discernable consequence to their actions?
I just bring this up because this is my current state of affairs. I procrastinate everything to the last minute. I work ever-so-hard, and put demands on myslef that no-one ever should. (Staying awake for 24-36 hours at time, doing 2 weeks worth of work at one time) I think in a way, that I have gotten away with this for too long. I have never really been punished for my actions, b/c I have always succeeded, triumphantly. Though I think it has started to take a mental toll.
I do also want to clear it up a little, I mis-stated my use of masochism. Rather, I wanted to know if it would be a kind of 'subconcious-masochism' as much as the negative is tolerated. Just as a dog that knows he is going to be beaten, will sit an take the beating b/c he knows it will happen irregardless; this, in pack behavior is refered to as the "Omega."
Ok, so I leave you with this mess of though and I am interested to hear your thoughs/feelings.
Oh, and btw, thank you for participating, its good to hear what others think!
-SF