The one nice thing about control issues is that as you get older, they generally become less of an issue. At 16, I was a one minute man. At 22, I can go until I can't maintain an erection due to exhaustion. (Exceptions apply)
The primary problem with most control issues is the unwillingness of the partners to work on the problem. (Sort of a an ignore it and hope it will go away thing.) If you and your partner are willing to work on the issue, solutions can be reached. Have you tried letting your girlfriend be the aggressor? If she's doing all the work, you can just focus on control. Besides she may find that she likes being in-charge.
However, most control is primarily a mental thing. In new relationships, the most common cause of loss of control is the fear of loss of control. In a relationship where you know and trust your partner, fear shouldn't be an issue.
In my current relationship, control isn't even an issue. I know what my girlfriend likes and how she responds, so I watch her and pace myself compared to her. When our relationship was still new, I didn't know those responses or her likes, so control was a major issue. Moral: Practice makes perfect.
I should add that a really good way to build trust in your relationship is to TALK TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND about your concerns and fears.
__________________
Pick Two: [1] Fast [2] Right [3] Cheap
|