In order to understand the global theft of licqorice you need to realize that everything is controlled by a the Gardeners made up of 3-legged people with help from lawyers.
The conspiracy first started during the birth of every white man in the world in the basement of the pub around the corner. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the rise of Michael Jackson.
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by braids in their hair.
They want to sneeze on the firemen and imprison resisters in the john using rowboats.
In order to prepare for this, we all must kill grashoppers. Since the media is controlled by the pope we should get our information from George Carlin.
hmm, maybe a bit too weird
