Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Nervous about three-some

toxic515 · 10-02-2003, 06:04 PM

This is actually a difficult thing to approach the first time. Jealousy doesn't have any place in this type of playing. If you cannot deal with the idea of him being with someone else, even with you present, then keep it all as a fantasy for a while. Image yourself getting turned on while he tries it out.. You've got to get comfortable in your relationship to "swing" and if you are not, it's a dangerous recipe for disaster. Is it fun? Oh dear, until you've tried it, you cannot imagine... AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH COMMUNICATING, HONEST, AND WILLING. Keep in mind this is sex, not love, and keep it that way. Love is between you two. It's possible to party like that and have no more emotional involvement that doubles tennis, or playing cards together. Sure, you want trust, honesty, and caring feelings, but this is NOT the partner you are planning to stay with. Make sure you BOTH understand that. OUr first mfm experience took me a little while to sort out. We were with a friend of mine, and I've been close with him for years... This guy could go ALL NIGHT! I cannot, I can go more than once, but pas 10 minutes of straight up "doin it" and I am done with that round. It took me some time to get past my own feelings of inadequacy there, but I did. My wife doesn't pine for him. When we can get together and party, we do. I think she got about the same the first fmf, but we took a short break, talked it out, and got past it. Take your time, and don't get into it, unless you are willing to understand that he isn't going to fall in love with someone else any more than you are.

10-02-2003, 06:04 PM	#14 (permalink)
toxic515 Addict Location: Texas	This is actually a difficult thing to approach the first time. Jealousy doesn't have any place in this type of playing. If you cannot deal with the idea of him being with someone else, even with you present, then keep it all as a fantasy for a while. Image yourself getting turned on while he tries it out.. You've got to get comfortable in your relationship to "swing" and if you are not, it's a dangerous recipe for disaster. Is it fun? Oh dear, until you've tried it, you cannot imagine... AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH COMMUNICATING, HONEST, AND WILLING. Keep in mind this is sex, not love, and keep it that way. Love is between you two. It's possible to party like that and have no more emotional involvement that doubles tennis, or playing cards together. Sure, you want trust, honesty, and caring feelings, but this is NOT the partner you are planning to stay with. Make sure you BOTH understand that. OUr first mfm experience took me a little while to sort out. We were with a friend of mine, and I've been close with him for years... This guy could go ALL NIGHT! I cannot, I can go more than once, but pas 10 minutes of straight up "doin it" and I am done with that round. It took me some time to get past my own feelings of inadequacy there, but I did. My wife doesn't pine for him. When we can get together and party, we do. I think she got about the same the first fmf, but we took a short break, talked it out, and got past it. Take your time, and don't get into it, unless you are willing to understand that he isn't going to fall in love with someone else any more than you are. __________________ Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.