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I attribute the gentle break up to having cancer for 3 years and then finally dying. Slowly your insides are eaten away and you question why something like this could happen to you.
On the other side, the abrupt break up is like finding your '57 Chevy stolen when you go to drive it. You instantly feel angrer, vengence, etc. Eventually you get over it and are able to move on.
I think the gentle break up just holds people back from moving on. Speaking personally, I borke up with my girlfriend in March and decided to do the gentle break up thing. Six months later, I still think about her, whether I did the right thing, and a certain amount of guilt in looking at other women.
The best cure to get over someone is to feel a certain amount of anger or hatred toward that person and how they don't deserve you. When I broke up with my ex, I was still very much in love with her but couldn't justify putting up with her bullshit. I think I'm the bigger person for doing it the way I did, but I still have to deal with the effects of it everyday.
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