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I have no problem tipping if the service was good. And I REALLY have no problem NOT tipping if the service sucked outright (and the person doesn't even try to apologize).
I don't feel tipping is always necessary. You don't owe them a damned thing...it's ridiculous for an employee to think that you do. In most cases I think a waiter/waitress would already know if something has gone wrong, and will know what to change with the next people to get good tips.
As you mentioned it's really supposed to be a token of your appreciation when you *do* give them a tip.
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