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I was in the same situation 12 years ago. She was a virgin on our wedding night and was basically a bit psycho when we first did it (her mom had really done a number on her about sex being bad). There was almost no foreplay. Her hymen ripped in such a way that she was constantly bleeding. We had to go to the hospital for it. Sex wasn't particularly good for quite a while until I had taught her about how important foreplay is. Now she loves it.
I'm only normal size (although I've never measured my girth). She seems to me to be slightly below normal in size. The key has always been foreplay and getting her in a turned on mood. That first night made it difficult. We resorted to watching porno on occasion (which usually got her really wet) and just waiting until we were both extremely horny. Now I can get her in that mood through proper preparation throughout the day (i.e. emotional connection through talking and physical connection through making out). It's a long process, but it was definitely worth it in the end.
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