God I'm glad I read this thread...
Quote:
Originally posted by WhoaitsZ
Your First True Love..?
-Z
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That line right there is what gets me. Damn you Z.
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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Z-
Your son Z had an unfortunate accident earlier today as an unknown assailant attacked from the bushes and kidnapped him. We later found his charred corpse some distance away. Barring any mismatch in dental records, we presume this is Z.
-Yzerman
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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Bones.
A neighbor reported a "foul smell" coming from his basement and when arriving downstairs, Bones' rotting corpse was found bound and gagged in a chair. Soaked in his own excrement, Bones was presumed dead for some time. Horrified onlookers wept as Bones' corpse was hauled from the basement to the "meat-wagon" sometime around 10AM. We are truly sorry for your loss, but this is the way I would have wanted it to happen.
-Y
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Fuck you both!