Quote:
Originally posted by Bones
i want someone to write a letter to my mommy and daddy
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Dear Mr. and Mr. Bones,
I regret to inform you that your "son", Bones, was...uh..."relieved of duty" today. It seems that he was climbing telephone poles out in Lisle when he fell. He was spared death from an impact with the ground when his exposed scrotum got hung up on one of the pegs on the telephone pole. Let me digress a moment and congratulate you on a boy whose ball sack was not only strong enough to support his weight, but attractive as well, due to its well groomed status....uh...anyway. It seems he hung there for sometime and was in relatively good spirits, according to passersby, until the accident.
There was a semi hauling chicken feces to a crayon processing plant that went out of control. It seems that fumes from the chicken feces made the driver a bit crazy. He thought that Bones hanging from the telephone pole was like the brass ring on a carousel and, well, let's just say by the time we got to him, he had drowned in about 50,000 gallons of chicken feces.
We will be forwarding you his personal effects recovered at the scene which include:
1 pink leotard
2 tap shoes-1 yellow, 1 blue
1 muskrat coat
1 copy of a VHS tape-Electric Boogaloo
$30.00 in pennies AND
1 Barnie electric toothbrush
Again, my condolences for the loss of your child.
Sincerely,
Lisle PD