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This doesn't sound good I've been married 16 years if that qualifies me. The phrase ..."which I now find she is bitter about"... hit me right in the chops. I'm guessing that your wife is not communicating her feelings, but is covering them up and not telling you. It helps her to do this by working odd shift and playing cards online, etc. It is quite likely that she has some large issues with you and might think that she doesn't "love" you anymore - she may think she hates you - but she can't bring herself to communicate and has given up. These feelings and non-communication can feed on themselves and be increased over time. Also, she may be depressed (medically) or need other happy pills. The actual issues that she thinks she is mad at you about might actually start out small but they fester and lead to what you see now. Marriage counselor is needed. If I'm wrong about some of this, then good - but you might still need counseling or she happy pills.
All of the previous aside, the sexual drive could be a separate issue. Her hormones are wacked and she may need to seek medial help.
Just sleepwalking on and not facing the issues will just make things wors and/or irreparable - it it hasn't happened already. This is no fun but it can probably be overcome if you can convince her that you want to make her happy and that you will listen to her and do what she wants. good luck
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