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raeanna74 · 09-21-2003, 07:48 AM

BTW menopause doesn't always begin with a lack of periods or even much change in periods. Your hormones begin fluctuating long before that. I'm 29 and the Dr's are working with me with Hormone therapy. I haven't had a normal period for 3 years. It's not menopause but there are other reasons for hormone fluctuations and problems. Putting pressure on her for sex is the last thing you want to do. I've been through this and it just turns me off. Sometimes I just need time to myself. The thing with the computer disturbs me a little bit. I know from personal experience tha depression can cause a person to retreat to the computer, stay up all night, affects your libido, and excessive drinking. I'm not trying to diagnose things but I would say that you should talk about how she's feeling, if she's feeling depressed and such. Even just a change in hormones can affect how chemicals are absorbed or produced in the brain and can cause depression (Everyone knows about PMS).

Maybe a visit to the Dr would be helpful. He can best tell you how to help her get her sex drive back and explain what she's going through and he can give her answers to the problems she's dealing with. If she is going through menopause then a visit to the Dr is a much needed thing.

Like ratbastid said - Talk about your feelings. Say things such as - "When you don't feel like having sex I know it may have nothing to do with me but it makes me FEEL like you don't need or love me." Using words "I FEEL like..." makes the discussion less of an attack on her actions and more a communication of how you feel about things. She won't feel attacked and may understand better what is going through your mind.

As for the job thing. Take one thing at a time. Help her feel better about herself, communication how you are feeling, get her to visit a Dr to help with menopause/sexdrive/ possible depression and then when those things have settled down see what you guys can do about jobs?

I've been on both sides of this story. Even down to sleeping in separate beds. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It will take work but it will be worth it. If you guys can get through this you will be closer than ever. If she sees that you genuinely want her to feel better and that you want that intimacy and closeness she may appreciate you even more. Good luck hope it works out.

09-21-2003, 07:48 AM	#9 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	BTW menopause doesn't always begin with a lack of periods or even much change in periods. Your hormones begin fluctuating long before that. I'm 29 and the Dr's are working with me with Hormone therapy. I haven't had a normal period for 3 years. It's not menopause but there are other reasons for hormone fluctuations and problems. Putting pressure on her for sex is the last thing you want to do. I've been through this and it just turns me off. Sometimes I just need time to myself. The thing with the computer disturbs me a little bit. I know from personal experience tha depression can cause a person to retreat to the computer, stay up all night, affects your libido, and excessive drinking. I'm not trying to diagnose things but I would say that you should talk about how she's feeling, if she's feeling depressed and such. Even just a change in hormones can affect how chemicals are absorbed or produced in the brain and can cause depression (Everyone knows about PMS). Maybe a visit to the Dr would be helpful. He can best tell you how to help her get her sex drive back and explain what she's going through and he can give her answers to the problems she's dealing with. If she is going through menopause then a visit to the Dr is a much needed thing. Like ratbastid said - Talk about your feelings. Say things such as - "When you don't feel like having sex I know it may have nothing to do with me but it makes me FEEL like you don't need or love me." Using words "I FEEL like..." makes the discussion less of an attack on her actions and more a communication of how you feel about things. She won't feel attacked and may understand better what is going through your mind. As for the job thing. Take one thing at a time. Help her feel better about herself, communication how you are feeling, get her to visit a Dr to help with menopause/sexdrive/ possible depression and then when those things have settled down see what you guys can do about jobs? I've been on both sides of this story. Even down to sleeping in separate beds. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It will take work but it will be worth it. If you guys can get through this you will be closer than ever. If she sees that you genuinely want her to feel better and that you want that intimacy and closeness she may appreciate you even more. Good luck hope it works out. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.